by Mondoreb & Little Baby Ginn
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.
as told by
Rosie O'Donnell
It's a classic Democrat love story involving Bill Clinton and Rosie O'Donnell. It takes all the twists and turns of any good story. First, Bill has Rosie's love, then he loses it. Finally, all is well: Rosie breaks down and Bill is begging for forgiveness, not just from Rosie, but from himself.
The tales as told by the New York Post:ROSIE O'Donnell says Bill Clinton had her bawling like a baby during an emotional chat in which the ex-president apologized for cheapening the Oval Office with his Monica Lewinsky sexcapades.
So one supposes that it has ended well for the both of them: Rosie's no longer crying and, from most reports, Bill's forgiven himself.
The sapphic supernova, doing stand-up at the New York Comedy Festival Tuesday night, told the audience how Clinton sent her a card after she slammed him during a performance at the Mohegan Sun Casino Hotel five years ago, The Post's Mandy Stadtmiller reports.
"He disgusts me," O'Donnell recalled saying at the casino show. "And I know I'm not supposed to say this because I'm a good Democrat, but I didn't want to [talk] to him because he lied to me when he said, 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman,' and then put the scarlet-letter [bleep]-job on her for the rest of her life . . . I still hate you!"
When the corpulent comic called the phone number Clinton included with his note, Bubba himself picked up, she said.
"My knees got weak. I was like, 'Can I [bleep] you?' No, I didn't say it, but I felt it - I was like, 'Whoa! Whoa!' And he said, 'I was at your show the other night, and I was sorry that you didn't come over and say hello to me. And I know that you're still harboring some hard feelings,' " O'Donnell related.
"And I said, 'You know, listen, here's the deal, dude. I've been disappointed by men my whole life. I loved JFK, my mother loved JFK, and you were the JFK to me. And you let me down, man. You killed me and that hurt me a lot, and when you hurt me, I don't know, I didn't expect that out of you and I thought you could do better for your wife, for the country and just in general."
Clinton then worked his charm on O'Donnell. "He goes, 'I'm sorry for all the men who ever hurt you, I'm sorry that I hurt you. Everything you've said to me, I've said to myself, and I hope one day you can forgive me, and I hope I can forgive me.' "
Clinton's mea culpa quickly had O'Donnell's faucets opening up. "I'm hysterical crying," she recalled.
A good example of why love stories--even the Democrat ones--always make people cry.
Sniff.
by Mondoreb
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I know, I know.
What's funny about Mayanmar? Monks beaten, people killed, and other pictures of death, destruction, mayhem and all the other things in life we could do without. Unless of course, you're into that kind of thing--in which case, just show up at a MegaDeath concert in suit and tie.
Anyway, this is the story of one comedian's battle against oppression and gloom. Zarganar is his name and his story was brought to our attention by TherapyDoc. We liked the story, and to tell the truth, we couldn't resist the temptation to put up a video of a Mayanmar comedy club. You most likely won't understand the language, but you'll understand that everyone's having a good time.
In a place where good times are probably at a premium right now.
Now we'll let TherapyDoc tell her story.Who? What? What's this doing on TherapyDoc's Blog. This isn't a political blog!
Read the rest of the story.
Yes, but I hate the thought of priests beaten and herded off to jail in Yangon, Mayanmar. (Burma in years past). And there's a good joke in the WSJ that you might not have heard.
Maung Thura (Zarganar, or tweezers in Burmese) is a comedian who makes his living sending up the Mayanmar Military Regime. Before the regime, Zarangar spoofed Gen. Ne Win in the 1980's. The comic is fearless, heroic.
He's probably not in Myanmar at this moment or it's likely he'd be in jail. But they say he's there, still telling jokes.
Zarangar was in dental school when he realized he was just too funny to be a dentist. And he HAD to speak out politically. The Al Franken, I suppose, of Asia.
You might remember the rebellion last month, Burmese priests and throngs of people marching in defiance of bans imposed by Myanmar’s ruling military junta. Between 300 and 2ooo people have been detained (depending upon your news source) and hundreds are said to have been killed. I was under the blissful influence of media-deprivation, busy in the synagogue and the succah
In 1988, it was students, brutally crushed, who protested against the Myanmar Junta. Over 3000 are thought to have been killed, many more tortured.
I tell you all this to keep you honest, to keep you grounded. We think we have problems and we do, we do. I'm not minimizing. I'm relativizing.
Here's Zarganar's little joke, straight out of Christopher Rhoad's front page article.
George Bush, Hu Jintao (China's president) and Than Shwe (Myanmar's military leader) went to visit God.
Bush asked God, 'When will the U.S. become the most powerful nation in the world?'
God replied, 'Not in your life,' driving Bush to tears.
Mr. Hu then asked when China would become the richest nation in the world, which drew the same "not in your life" answer from God and tears from the Chinese president.
Finally, Myanmar's ruler asked when his country would have enough water and electricity. This time it was God who broke into tears, saying, "Not in my life!"
He has funnier jokes, of course.
Good, huh?
We enjoyed the story.
Even if we couldn't understand a word.
notes by Mondoreb
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IF you have a great post and want us to take a look at it, send LBGinn or Mondo an email.
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