A Tale from the BlancaSphere
It's official. The party of Lincoln is dead. The party of Reagan has been on life support for some time and is not expected to recover.
Over the past two years I have watched my beloved party become a cesspool of impropriety.
If it wasn't mens room toe tapping, it was underage page picking up.
If it wasn't bribery scandals, it was lobbyist scandals.
It it wasn't drunken uncontrolled spending, it was drunken uncontrolled drinking.
Where did we go wrong? I mean all we asked for was complete unquestioned authority. We didn't need checks and balances. That's for pussies. We certainly didn't need any kind of an opposition party. That kind of crap is for Old Europe. This is the New World Order, and we can write our own rules.
It looked good there for a while. We managed to have it all. Commander Guy was at the helm, we had Tom Foley running the show in the House, and in the Senate, with the VD in charge. We had it our way.
Then came that bastard Jim Jeffords. I will never forgive him. He threw the Senate back to those Democrats, and it looked like we were going to have to compromise and cooperate.
But then, as if to answer our prayers, came 9/11. Oh, I remember it just like yesterday. It was great. We once again had complete control of everything. It was finally in vogue to just do what we told you. Man, that was cool!
Then came Iraq. It looked great at first. I mean we owed it to the Decider for saving us from the al Queda by reading that book to those children in Florida. He deserved to have a war. That way he got to play dress up and fly onto that aircraft carrier.
Just thinking about his cod piece gets this girl's blood flowing!
And then things started to go south. Iraq was no longer the fun and games we thought it would be. The shine was coming off, and underneath it looked like bad primer. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
And then it got ugly. The populace turned on us. They started to hiss at us. Even our proxies, like Ann Coulter were getting pies in the face.
Then, it became downright scary. People blamed us for Katrina. Damn those black folk drowning on us like that! And damn those TV choppers with cameras! Why didn't those NOLA folks have the decency to drown when no one was filming?
People seemed to get all testy about our knowing better about life ending issues than a husband and his wife. I don't understand, but they just didn't like us passing a law that applied to one brain dead chick in Florida. I think that was the moment when the wheels came off.
Then all those sex scandals made us look really bad. It was getting to the point a Republican couldn't even try to pick up a prostitute in a bar without getting fingered--and not in the good way.
I mean what is the world coming to when you can't pick up the phone and have your gay male gigolo come over for some oil "massages" and crystal meth?
So here we stand, with our presumptive nominee for 2008 a RINO, a poser, a wannabe. And our Commander Guy has finally succeeded where no other President has. His approvals are the lowest ever. I think it is time to start the funeral pyre and get out while the getting is good.
I have been working on my plea to have Mike Huckabee run as a third party candidate. All conservatives should join me, for the sake of the union. This new party will embrace all the finer things about the Republican party, and bring together true neoconservatives, true religious conservatives, and all the groups which hate all the right people. We will call it the Conservative party, because Nazi was already taken.
Together we can forge ahead into the 16th Century, when men were men, and women were property.
Actually, a lot of men were property, too.
It will be great. It will make the Ghost of Jerry Falwell proud. I'm sure he'll be looking up at us and smile as his dreams of anal invasion are fulfilled for all eternity.
by Blanca DeBree
Want more Blanca DeBree and Tales from the BlancaSphere? Try these recent Blanca offerings: * Dallas We Have a Problem * A Shameless Attempt to Generate More Web Traffic |
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Source: R.I.P. G.O.P.
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.
Delegates, Up for Grabs, Primary/caucus Schedule
Next Week's Primaries/caucuses, Delegate totals, Delegates up for grabs next Tuesday
Yesterday's primaries:
DEMOCRAT
Maryland - 99 delegates -Won by Obama
Virginia -101 delegates - Won by Obama
Washington, D.C. - 38 delegates - Won by Obama
REPUBLICAN
Maryland - 37 delegates - Won by McCain
Virginia - 63 delegates - Won by McCain
Washington, D.C. - 19 delegates - Won by McCain
NEXT:
DEMOCRATS
Wisconsin primary [92 delegates]- February 19
Washington primary [97 delegates]-February 19
Hawaii caucuses [20 delegates]- February 19
REPUBLICANS
Wisconsin primary [40 delegates]- February 19
Washington primary [40 delegates] -February 19
Guam primary [9 delegates] -February 19
Delegates Up for Grabs Next Tuesday (Feb. 19) (including Super Delegates)
DEMOCRATS - 209
REPUBLICANS - 89
DELEGATE TOTALS
DEMOCRATS
Obama 1253
Clinton 1211
Edwards 26
[Needed to Win: 2025]
REPUBLICANS
McCain 827
Romney 286
Huckabee 214
Paul 19
[Needed to win: 1191]
compiled by Mondoreb
image: istock
Sources:
* DEM, GOP Delegate Totals, Upcoming contests
* CNN
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.
dead guy in Mingo County gets to vote straight Democrat."
Somewhere on the road to Doddridge County, John Cole saw a donkey and converted to the Democrat party. Whether he ever completed his journey, he doesn't say because apparently Balloon Juice was having an overstock sale on "Fuck", so they rented him a carnival barker's outfit and let him have at it.
More on his catharsis from Balloon Juice:
I had meant to re-register independent (or as it is known here in West Virginia, “No Party Affiliation”) for the past two weeks after I had finally had enough of the bullshit during the Graeme Frost escapade, but never got around to it (and it really was not that big of a deal, I had made the mental commitment, which is what matters).This last bit leads one to believe that Cole will make a fine Democrat. And by the way, in the Northern part of West Virginia, Independents are also known as "Closet Republicans". His journey continues.
Long story short, I got up there to register as an independent, said “Fuck it,” and now I am a Democrat. I certainly don’t agree with all their positions, but they are not bat-shit crazy like the GOP.John finishes with one more "fuck" as evidence his eighth-grade English teacher hadn't failed completely in her educational endeavors.
Joining West Virginia's Democrats (who constitute roughly two-thirds of the state's voters) is a real gesture of defiance for John Cole. Halloween is the perfect time to announce such a move, as he now joins the legions of dead Mingo County Democrats that have been masquerading as Democrats voting the straight ticket there for decades.
It's a hard life being a Republican in the Mountain State. It's even harder to criticize a fellow West Virginian for switching their party affiliation. Especially one who speaks so eloquently as John Cole.
by Mondoreb
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by Little Baby Ginn
There was a time when I never paid much attention to politics but in the past few years I've become more and more attracted to the national political level: the shenanigans, polls, hype, and figurative backstabbing among candidates during the primaries. But what really interests me is what happens when someone such as Ron Paul comes onto the scene.
The great 1939 movie, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, starring Jimmy Stewart, comes to mind. In the film Stewart's character, Jefferson Smith, is appointed to fill a vacancy in the Senate. I'm sure at this point those who've seen the film are probably scratching their heads and wondering what comparison could possibly be made between the plot of Mr. Smith's Goes To Washington and Ron Paul's run for President.
It's been a long, long time since I last saw Mr. Smith but some movies, the great ones, leave a strong impression. The Grapes Of Wrath, another great film from the 1930s starring Henry Fonda left me with the memory of the hardness and despair of the Depression. Mr. Smith left the memory of a man who, though thought of as a political stooge, plans to do something good for his constituents.
This made his puppet masters afraid of his popularity and they made the decision to quash his success by attempting to falsely accuse him of improprieties. They were aided by their ability to control the media. The great scene where Jefferson filibusters the Senate while being harassed and smeared by his opponents from all sides, this is where the Ron Paul situation comes to mind.
As an Independent I do not automatically disregard a candidate because he comes from the "wrong side of the aisle." I want to hear what all the candidates bring to the table. Amazingly Paul has been censored by some in his own party in attempting to get his message across. The media has fallen in line with the other candidates in ignoring Paul and in some instances labeling him as a crackpot with cult-like members. On some conservative blogs, Ron Paul has been downgraded to "kook status." Some of this stems from the behavior of the more over-zealous Paul supporters.
Paul's stance on issues resonates with voters who have become disenchanted with both the Republican and Democrat parties. When the rumor circulated that Mr. Paul might split off to a third party, even more vitriol was thrown his way. What's not being mentioned is that Paul fills a void for a large block of voters.
The press has been extremely skeptical of Paul, if not downright hostile. Why the hostility towards Paul from the media and from his own party? Republicans leaders are making a mistake in how they are attempting to handle the "problem" of Ron Paul. Behind Ron Paul is the voters who support him and shunting Ron aside is also shunting aside the legitimacy of the concerns of those voters by the Republican party.
It's long past the time to stop labeling Paul as a crackpot, legitimatize his candidacy for the Presidency and stop slandering his supporters.
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